"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
of dreams
and reverie


Monday, April 30, 2007 @ 5:31 AM

yeah..
seeing me posting something here means what?
im not in the mood for exams!
signs..
just got so much on my mind.
i cant stop and concentrate.
im stucked between this and that.
can someone just step out and help?
never mind..
there's nothing you people can help too.
something yesterday..
went to study at LJS.
with Shuying, Munyee,
Yongxiang and chongyou
as usual, im the late queen.
and then i was also conferred
as the 'dirty-minded queen'
dont panic! i know that sounds crazy but
here's what happened..
recalling~
when i arrived there, we all began ordering
food except for our determined yongxiang.
his determination to slim down
is really commendable!
while eating, we kept on saying some disgusting stuffs
okay.. to some of you who have had meal with me
knows how i behave when food is served.
so roughly you'd think i mixed those food
but NO! you're wrong!
we were in fact talking about
'cha cha' thing
[not dance arh!]
i dont blame those who are too innnocent
and cannot understand what im talking abt
so everytime the 3 of them want eat/drink something,
they must make sure im not getting ready to talk
and most probably..
my actions or jokes would crack them up
and then they would make a mess or choke.
haha.. i might as well be the first human in the world
to murder someone by making them laugh
and choke to death.
haha :D
okay.. end of 'yellow talk'
we went to Timezone
and Mr Wee generously
contributed 5 bucks for our games
me shuying and chongyou played DATONA
i was mostly in the first place during the race
but that damn chongyou hit my car and got first
LAST MINUTE!
what the hell!
3.bang!
2.beside my car
1.he's the winner and im the loser!
anyway.. nice game.
i'll beat you next time.
i'll crush your car!
overall.. yesterday was pretty good
and hanging out with friends is always good!
about today.
went to munyee's house after school.
chat and eat.
i guess i eat alot of junk food all at one time
i ate cup noodles, calbee de potato chips and then
meiji de chocolate thing..
i love Meiji's products!
they all taste so yummy!
like gummie choco..hmmm..
and also glico stuffs.[pocky]
why am i talking about food?
nvm.. it's good..
im thinking about acceptable weight now!
anyway we were doing online stuffs and then
munyee showed me the world of maple story..
well, it sucks and i only like the farting sound
the characters make when they jump.
funny..munyee got a video of me playing it so
you'll might want to check it out.
think that's it for today!
all the best to everyone!
JIAYOU BAH! :D
Friday, April 27, 2007 @ 7:06 AM

today's english paper is so god damn tough..
i was struggling.
i made a mess. i knew it.
there's no turning back.
i cant do it all over again.
done!
im failing english for sure!
other subjects also..
everything also dont understand..
then during recess, namirah they all came into class.
we missed the days when they laugh loudly in class.
haha.. then something horrible.
namirah say someone used something
and craved on the table
something like what love me..
what the hell?!
feel like vomiting..
disgusted..
could someone just throw that table away.
burn it. melt it. corrode it.
for all i care.. just keep it away
from human civilisations..
heck care lah..
im trying to maintain the happy mood
that i built up..
and no one aint bringing it down..
im happy and cheerful now..
because of you..
you're the reason that keeps me moving on..
iloveyou lots! muacks!
Thursday, April 26, 2007 @ 6:32 AM

Welcome to the exam season!
with lots of exam papers ready just for you!
im stressing out here!
just dont understand a lot of stuff
why is this formula like this and blahblahblah..
and there, some people are
worrying abt something not related.
this was what happened yesterday.
he found out that i was msging
his best friend all this while
and i dont know what he wants to talk to me about.
what's the big deal about this?
i really dont understand.
at this point of time, everyone is struggling.
studying to get good results and there he is
worrying about this.
so i have no time for any chat or whatsoever.
why should he care so much?
it's not like im closely related to him or whatsoever
why cant he just mind his own business?
his best friend is also my friend and
we only msg normal stuffs
not more than that.
by the way i dont like both of them.
both very very normal friend
except one whom im beginning to detest.
i msg to whoever i want
i need no one's consent
so i wish that some people could just shut the hell up!
i talk to whoever i wish to talk to.
i dont need anyone's comments.
dont act like you're the innocent one
WHAT BULLSHIT!
your friend stood up for you.
good.they're making things worse for everyone.
you're not the only one being bothered or what.
you asked for it and this is what you're going to get.
no one forced you to think or care so much.
im not the one.
so dont shift all those bloody blames to me!
just stop all your nonsense!
just back off!
GET OUT OF MY LIFE FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Sunday, April 22, 2007 @ 11:50 PM

woke up at 4 plus to get ready for choir.
and also to disturb someone XD haha..
but my plan didnt actually work. damn it!
did some warm up and my singing just simply sucks!
it's so difficult to sing. somemore Mr Poon..
kept rehearsing with the altos then i hear the tune until i
follow them.. then everything goes wrong..
luckily i got back on track..
we were all in a rush..
got there, practise for 10 mins and up we go!
there were very few people.phew!
but still, we were rushing through the piece..
when i went on stage, i kept on smiling until my mouth
was feeling kind of numb or whatsoever.
this was the first time i sang 'everyone sang'
and 'loi kra thong' while smiling.
it's real hard so i dont know how soniyah do it.
other choirs are good.
way way better than us -.-
it's not because of Mr Poon but it's us.
he's a really good conductor
i dont mean heat or electricity conductor
for those science geeks info.
he's very patient with us
and he always make me feel comfortable or fun
singing on stage.
we listened to other choirs but most of us fell asleep
not because they were singing too bad or whatsoever..
they were good but we're just too tired...
i cant imagine how those people from other choirs
survive through the whole sleepy ordeal.
i bet they woke up early too.
many of them were very attentive unlike us
most of us were sleeping..
luckily there's no one snoring..
but many girls were sleeping in a very awkward
position. [legs open big big]
shakes heads*
it's not very good for us to be sleeping
while others are perfoming with all their hearts
i wouldnt want this to happen to me but still..
forget it!
everything's over. cant get another chance
to sing with this choir unless there's another competition
im so torn apart. there's some people who cares about
those kind of stuffs when exams are approaching
no sense of priority at all..
teachers are teaching new stuffs now..
dont think i'll be scoring well for mid-year
god bless me please please please..!
Friday, April 20, 2007 @ 7:26 AM

today's speech day was a total flop.
i couldnt sing properly and nicely.
i didnt dance like what i was supposed to.
people coming running to me and asking me
about that fall on stage that i had
with a big exclaimation mark
and a very very big one too.
that wasnt any funny act.
it was just too slippery.
i have never slipped when practising
on other practices with that pair of socks
it's either that cleaned the floor or i was too nervous.
most probably is nervous.
cause i was rushing.
everything didnt went smoothly.
after singing loi kra thong,
i was supposed to stand behind the curtains
but instead i went in front.
What was i thinking?
ohhh god damn it!
what the ****!
everyone could see who's
the clown for the day.
and maybe i'll get a prize for it.
everything just sucks!
what do bad things always happen to me?
Friday, April 13, 2007 @ 7:16 AM

Such a tiring day!
the speech day rehearsal was so messy!
choir did perform better today but that was
not what was expected of us.
mr poon no happy, ms ng no happy
both not happy with the stage presence and singing.
well, frankly speaking it sucks to the core!
i still think it's the sound system's fault
there's echo and it's very hard for us to hear.
we're partly responsible as well.
we werent ready.
and im absolutely sure about it.
the skirt is another major problem.
it disrupts me from walking like a normal girl.
have to walk in such little steps and so fast that
i made progress 1m/s
the shoes became too big for me.
and i had to put lots of tissues in it.
that helped a little but caused another problem
it's hurting my toes like hell!
now i get cramps whenever i stand too long or whatsover.
the finale dance not good either
it's quite restless as i see it.
im very afraid that i might miss a step
and mess up everything.
luckily, i didnt.haha :D
but obviously all of us werent that energetic.
unlike the energy i felt during the musical.
everyone were 100% focus and
full of energy.
thinking of this does not trigger my dance
genes.
hey! i dont think i have any dance genes.
my mom used to be a basketball player and drummer
but im none of that.
im more of a gentle and relaxing person.
sometimes.only.
after school, i was in class.
it was raining outside and it's a tough
decision for us to choose whether to
go out or stay in.
in the meanwhile, i think is tanapol who
showed me a heart-shaped pizza with
contents that seemed like pieces of leftover food
put together and
immediately i turned away.
it stinks alright! what a weird smell it had!
one last thing before i shut up.
someone disgusting and crazy drew
on a piece of paper writing words like 'yuzhe sucks!'
and put in under my plastic cover.
of course i screamed!
how could he insult my idol?
it's his problem that he isnt handsome enough
and had to vent his anger on someone
but definitely not my yuzhe.
so tore that piece of rubbish and wrote on a
new piece of paper giving him a warning.
'DONT MESS WITH MY STUFFS!'
then i added a 'jian' before stuffs
and it's like ' DONT MESS WITH MY JIAN STUFFS!'
that's not what i meant
i was trying to scold that dumbass 'jian'
but it turned out to be another meaning
OUT!
then i wrote on a new piece of paper
without that 'jian' word
and added a sentence.
it goes likes this
'THIS IS A WARNING!! I SHALL NOT TOLERATE
ANYMORE CHILDISH ACTS!'
im more educated unlike some others.
Thursday, April 12, 2007 @ 6:52 AM

STOP HUGGING OR POKING ME!
im not chubby.. im ms skinny
comments like 'you're so skinny!'
have been flooding my mind..
i have to clear it up..
so im officially declaring war to 'no recess'
im going for recesses and eat something
no matter how little it is..
so long as i eat something it's worth clapping.
i havent been eating much ever since i stepped
into this school's ground this year 2007
is it because of stress or some other things?
how i wish i could be more interested in food
like i am in chocolates and sweet stuffs XD
how i wish i could order mac delivery in school
for every recess or whatsoever.
nowadays it's like a lot of stuff going on.
there's so little time in a day,
that i usually fall asleep in class..
too tired i guess.
and it's mostly during physics classes that i fall asleep.
i have no interest in this subject at all.
not even a single bit.
everything that mrs yeo teaches
doesnt seem to go into my mind.
whatever she say seems
like she's chanting sutras..
that doesnt help me to find inner peace either.
it just acts as my lullaby song..
im becoming so tired that i dont even watch tv
i just simply fall asleep when im on the couch.
home is the best place to be.
but im still happy that im not like my sis
she's becoming so stress and everything.
everyday there's like tons of homework
imagine it took me one whole day to complete an essay.
and she has to do 3 in the night
cause she have odac in the afternoon.
all i can do is just refrain from disturbing
her with my stupid acts :D
aiya.. tmr still have full-dress rehearsal
have to get those costumes ready.
it's going to be another humiliating day~
let's just do our best! shall we?
ajar ajar fighting!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 @ 3:39 AM

finally. im not that crazy over yuzhe!
maybe after he release his album or
broadcast his shows then maybe this obsession
will start to rise back to the very top again.
we often get obsessed over new things
'temporary'
i have always been mentioning this word
ever since the day i began to like yuzhe.
and now everything is starting to cool down.
get what i mean? sure you do.
you'll too!
certainly there has been stuffs happening.
like pepper's vacation here
and many others.
some things are better to be left untouched.
it's kind of stupid when that idiotic guy
called me last friday.
the funny thing is Ruiling is the one answering
the god damn call and they thought it was me.
how dumb!
and yet they're laughing about 'my' answer
which obviously proves that im right about them.
which i always do without saying :D
everyone seems to be taunting me to go into relationships
but hello.. that's no joke okay?
i take everything seriously:p
who am i kidding? haha XD
but also i dont want to end secondary school life
just like that. snaps*
then there's just one page on my history
which is damn bad!
it's like so B O R I N G!
and MR. Stress is running into my life
at a super duper fast pace.
feel like just kicking him down the drain
but i'll just be named MS insane if i did that.
just get him out of my life! :(
NAPFA TEST SUCKS TODAY!
everything just keeps on proving to me
that im weak and everyone is way better than me.
but so long as i get gold, everything's over.
and im still so skinny
must put on weight!
friends...any encouragement for me?
JIA YOU! :D
Thursday, April 05, 2007 @ 4:51 AM






























thank you people!






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