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Thursday, December 23, 2010 @ 8:10 AM
Sleep eludes me, and that feeling suck. Big time.
but it somehow makes me think and go through everything mentally
and now, im writing it down.
It's a fact that every one has a side that just simply craves attention.
and it's not bad, unless you're talking about those serial killers
who murders people to get attention..
now that's a whole different story.
I don't deny that i am a attention seeker.
I feel extremely happy when people praise me and likewise,
I feel even more extremely upset when people fervently says things
that just simply hits me right on that particular spot and best thing of all,
don't even realised what damage has been done
even if it was for that few seconds when it seriously hurt and i just feel like
crawling back into my hole.
there's only two options.
give that person a piece of your mind or just pretend you heard nothing
and quietly let it slide because you're afraid that
choosing the former would definitely change something
and that something isnt what you feel is worth risking for.
If only I had the courage to do what I desired and fear not of the outcome...
I am not perfect and I know the golden rule:
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
I have hurt some people with my words or my insensitivity,
this is my mistake.
but human nature is hard to change.
I have tried to prevent myself from crossing the border
and im not sure whether it has worked or not
but i think that me being aware of this is already not bad
if i put it in my everyday lingo.
since i can't get rid of it, i'll just have to avoid it
and then there will come a time when i'll be as careful as
possible with my words and as sensitive as i can be with
people's feelings :)
Let this be a lesson and reminder to myself,
to continue to abide the golden rule..
At times, I feel like im left out of everything that I want to be a part of.
conversations, memories, lives.
either because of my ignorance or it's just me.
Not even a soul has an idea of how intense my desire is, to be
part of everything and everyone.
and It just seems like no one gives a shit about being in my life at all.
I'm withering and everyone continues going on with their-so-interesting-that-I-am-dying-out-of-envy lives.
Come on, someone's gotta go down with me.
Any takers?
Random shall be my middle name for this post is random beyond random-ness.
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"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
An April's fool who enjoyed 18 years of life and will continue to do so;
dubbed as LATE QUEEN and loving the title :D ;
has a darling old rabbit named Melody;
helplessly in love with animals except for amphibians;
hates routine night visits by beetles;
ultimately and seriously in need of a job! :) 
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